On the first of June I turned seventeen and during my birthday party, my dad told we were going to Sweden to celebrate Midsummers eve with Sven and his family. His wife Sara, and two daughters, Jenny sixteen and Nina nineteen. Nina was studying in England but was home for summer break. Sven had done well and spent most of his summer at the summer villa in the archipelago of Stockholm. I had seen photos and it looked amazing. The boat was a forty-foot speedboat of some Italian make. The engines roared as we sped over the flat surface passing other boats. A huge red cruise ship came the opposite direction.“That’s the Viking Line. It connects Stockholm to Helsinki in Finland,” screamed Sven over the engine.Some people standing on the deck waved down to us and I waved back.“Do you remember the parties?” my dad asked Sven who laughed. “Oh my god, they were pretty wild and those hangovers, wow. I couldn’t do that again.”“Dad, did you party while at University?” My dad wasn’t a big drinker,. The universe doesn’t care about your love life, or your loss. Doesn’t care that you can’t think straight. Doesn’t care that you can’t stop replaying that moment. Doesn’t care care if they left you, or you left them. It doesn’t care if it was for the best, or justified, or conceived in conceited self-absorption. It just goes. The world spins on, the sun rises, sets, and rises again. You are just along for the ride friend, you can get drug behind the chariot, or you can pick yourself up out of the dirt and try to stumble along. At least that’s what I’ve kept telling myself. Fuck if I know anything about anything. My parents wanted to drive me to Stanford themselves, but that didn’t make any sense, it was about a nine hour drive each way, and they’d have both had to take extra time off. Especially since Anna was going too, and Abby was just across the bay at UC Berkeley an hour away. The three of us were going to road trip it up there together. We were taking Abby’s car. Mine.
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